The First Step for CalBike Org Should Be

“The Bike Path/Lane Safety Act” that’s right, let us make bike paths/lanes safer for all. I’ll site you examples of why we should make Bike Paths/Lanes safer.

Let us start with the fat woman who made a run for the border about 7 years ago. Her name is Elena Garcia and what did Elena do? She banged the first cabalerro she could find and got a first son, now he is 5 years old. She banged another guy and had another son and he is two years old. Then she banged this macho man and had triplets ding-ding-ding she hit the lottery and she gets welfare benefits for all her AmeriKan kids. So what does this have to do with bicycle paths and lanes? Great question.

A Bike path or lane is only two lanes wide, one coming and one going, that’s it. Elena Garcia has her family out for the weekend jaunt at a park where bicycle paths exist. Oh, the guys split from her long ago, but not to worry. She got additional aid from the moron politicians, now has a big home, a Lincoln Navigator, a Pitbull and a Rottweiler and oh, she is on the bike path.

Elena is pushing a triple baby stroller right down the middle of the bike path. Her two year old has a pitbull on a leash, the kid is on one side the pitbull on the other side of the bike path taking up the whole width and the five year old is chasing the family Rottweiler off leash while Elena is all smiles. Oh and what about the cyclists? The hell with those two-wheeled bastards!

That was example number one. Let us talk about example number two: Mr. and Misses Johnson, they are a very old couple, love to hold hands when they walk side by side, they are always with a pleasant smile and oh, they walk on the bicycle path each one taking an entire lane hand-in-hand. Unfortunately they are too old to get out of the way, so you have to go around them on the dirt or if you are lucky, grass. If the dirt had a recent rain you might go sliding in the mud. Can’t happen, guess again, I seen it with my own eyes and here’s the kicker. The Johnson’s gave the cyclist a dirty look and kept going.

Now let us talk about Roger. Another bikehole on the bike path and he uses a polycarbon while riding in tights, yeah it is faster than a person walking but this little bikehole likes to play a game international marathon and what does he do? He rides at high pedal speeds in excess of twenty-five mph and he likes to come within inches of other cyclists and especially pedestrians and he just shakes his head with a smile. Imagine if he accidentally hit Mr and Misses Johnson, wouldn’t that be a real shame..

But worst of all is Luscious Linda. Cute tall blonde and with a headset and mp3 player on. She’s jogging to that music. She has it cranked up so loud, she can’t hear a damned thing at all, and where is she jogging? Right smack dab down the middle of the bike path. Go to her left or right you might startle her. She cannot hear your bike horn or bell dinging away, she might step to the side just as you are about to pass and then it gets messy. I can guarantee you it will be worse than a Victoria’s Secret model falling off-stage during a show.

Okay CalBike do you understand now? Okay so how do we fix things.

The Bicycle Path/Lane Safety Act‘ and here is what’s in it.

A. NO PEDESTRIANS ON ANY Bike Paths/Lanes except to safely cross them.

B. Require all cyclists with a wheel size of 16 inches or larger to have a working calibrated bicycle speedometer. Costs start at $15.00 on up.

C. Post a Maximum Speed Limit on the bike path or lane.

D. Open the bike path to all forms of bicycling. Pedal, Gas or Electric. Forget about top speed, forget about motor size or weight. If someone goes past the speed limit, ticket them. Use the revenues to hire bike police and make it a ticket they’ll never forget.

That is it, done, finished and over. No need to require special manufacturers stickers, no need for what motor size, what weight of a bike what top speeds. Ride safely at a posted speed limit with a speedometer and it’s all fine. Move pedestrians back onto a sidewalk. No more multi path usage. It is either a bike path or it is not.

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