How to fix KTTV

Bring in a new wide broom. You know, I recently got to Lowes and saw the old employees and they were all happy to say hello. That broom is a great sweeper, you’d be impressed with the miracles it does on the garage floor with all of the dirt and grime. In fact it sweeps so good, I wonder how my garage floor ever did without it, and so goes KTTV and FOX in Los Angeles. If ever there was a pile of crap on the floor that needed sweeping, might I recommend to Mr. Rupert Murdoch and family , the very best on Earth, they get a new wide broom and give KTTV execs and management a fresh sweep.

Now let’s not push too hard. There is a technique here. You have to get the broom handle securely in the socket and then just set it right in front of all of the dirt and give it a gentle nudge, after all, why cause dust to get into the air? Then you would have to spend extra money on a dust mask and at a time when the dirt can be easily swept into a hand held dust pan. Honestly Mr. Murdoch, you don’t have to buy an expensive shop-vac, nope! Just an old fashioned push broom and cheap plastic “Made in somewhere” dust pan will do and you can hire new KTTV management execs at a cheaper price. You know the old saying, ‘cheaper by the dozen’…

It’s all in the wrist. Just give it a slight nudge and shortly thereafter, you will see the dirt, ready for the waste can. It’s a breath of fresh air I tell ya.

For example, take the has-been on the weather. Bounced from every “retread” gig in town, wasn’t good enough to be on one, so bounced to another and who got the retread hired? Your execs. Give this person “Mark Thompson’s” spot and we got it made…NOT!

Then there is the morning weather setup. Does a third really count when you can have the entire kit and kaboodle? You show the day temps, why not the night temps, oh hell…why must this viewer wait a half hour for weather when KTLA gives it to me all in the first 5 minutes and your executive dirtbags are to blame. Want more examples, why not, after all, you are paying them, not me.

Who is watching your morning news? I know, your KTTV execs and manage ment don’t, why? Because they get paid and I give you an honest opinion. Mr. Murdoch, you won’t get a more honest opinion then from this viewer and why? One because I am not under your thumb and on your payroll, two because you cannot fire my ass. I can call it as I want it and you know why I am right, this tiny barely audible little voice out here? Because I tell you the truth. I don’t give you a major stroke job with a paycheck attached and I don’t want your paycheck either. In the case of your execs, think of them as Sid Cesar the comedienne that when you ask them a question, they imitate his comedy and say “yes,yes,yes,yes,yes” to whatever the Boss wants and that sir is why KTTV is all messed up. If I were you, I would bring one of these

To KTTV and bring in the people who can get your ratings back. You don’t need some awhack coming on your show challenging the Governor or a washed up weather caster etc. What you need are real pros who are aggressive and want to be the best, the very best and are hungry enough to make KTTV tops instead of a fourth rate fiddle with broken strings and worn out ideas from yesterday.

Bring back Mark Thompson the dancing weatherman, bring back Heidi Cuda, Bring back Jean Martiriz, Bring back Trisha Takasugi, bring back the production staff to fix the daily flaws kttv treats viewers to. A new broom sweeps clean.

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1 Comment

Filed under The FOX Bash

One response to “How to fix KTTV

  1. Hmmm…I wonder if they can bribe Jane Yamamoto to come back as well from KNBC…

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