It is the kind of day where the weather outside is absolutely perfect. Blue skies, 75 degree temps, a slight gentle breeze and you feel like a million.
Well from there every thing goes bad, one step at a time. Open the cereal box and pour it in a bowl and something is moving around even when the use by date says otherwise. Toss it out in the black can, but wait, a raccoon was in that during the early morning hours and made a nasty mess all over the place. The dog who has an entire grass area crapped on the brass railroad tracks in a goo puddle, try cleaning that one up. The significant other isn’t in a great mood having had cramps and you become the cushion upon which it all gets let out on, followed shortly by an apology because they are crabby. They go inside and flush the toilet that for some reason clogs then overflows crap on the bathroom floor and to top it off for the morning, the sink valve goes bad and won’t completely stop running hot water which taxes your water heater.
Well the later part of that morning it was off to Loews where I almost got run down in the parking lot by a kid in a Camaro looking the opposite way instead of eyes forward. The clerk called me next out of line only to say sorry as I lost my spot on the former line to four people because there was two cashiers with long lines. No they didn’t want to let me have my space back, people were already pissed having to wait.
On the way home, almost got rear ended by a plumbers truck full of Mexican Nationals (I presume) and finally made it back. Opened the sink, repaired it to find the bottom half of the valve dropped down into the piping. Oh Jolly! Keep it coming I called aloud and whoever was, did. Used my brains grabbed a magnet to retrieve the metal pieces, turned out they were not magnetic, does it get any better…yeah. Went outside, turned the pressure back on, then off quickly. Went back inside the drain blocker caught all the parts, how’s that for fast thinking? Took the parts out and reassembled the old brass valve replaced with the new one, tightened and the sink was nailed. Fixed, water pressure back on again, now the toilet. I had cleaned up the poop mess earlier swabbed the deck so-to-speak with latex gloves for my own sanitation purposes. Grabbed the plunger and started doing what they have done in cartoons forever. A bit of muscle and the toilet now worked.
Time to take the electric bike out for a ride, I needed away from all of this for a bit. Yes it really is electric, wanna see…
So I get out toward Balboa Park where I always go riding, and start having a great day on such a beautiful day, right. Wrong, I get onto the dirt path between the L.A. River and the Gold Course where many joggers as well as bike riders go, the width varies but averages about 30 feet, more than enough for everyone. Now I had the electric off and was pedaling at 8mph about jogging speed for a person. Some fat Encino woman, a real bagel chomper waives her finger at me and says “Bikes belong on the bike path.” Now I had a bad enough day without some stranger lecturing me because she has a big mouth. My reply was simply, “And pedestrians shouldn’t use the bike path. I’ll bet you crossed or used it to get to this path.” This is quite true actually and shut that fat slob up fast.
As I was riding along I said screw the pedaling, turned on the electric, twist throttled and just forgot about her as I knew when fatso exited the dirt trail with her friend, they would be using the bike path to walk on. I just hate bigmouth people like that. Anyhow got over to the north side and the hills and rode right up, got a noise. Kind of like a moaning whistle. Thought this couldn’t be good. So headed back home, almost got hit by a car crossing a green light in the crosswalk on my bike, what an asshole, I think when he thought about it, he realized he almost killed someone. Rode the bike back home, then a block away I hit one of those sticker balls from the Liquid Amber trees. You know the ones the city plants. They complain about planting a simple plum tree which existed for decades but they plant sticker ball trees that can cause real falls for people especially the elderly walking on broken sidewalks the city won’t fix. Walked my damaged bike home and yes it has thorn proof tubes.
Got home and the sprinkler valve in the back was broken. It had broken moments before I arrived back. House water off, then sprinkler valve repair. Had to leave that off for several hours. Decided to hop in car, and lo and behold the battery is dead. In fact the garage door opener refused to work also. Now remember folks, this is all in one day. Manually got the garage door opened, rolled the dead car backwards out of the garage. Positioned the car for a battery charge with my other vehicle. Went back in the garage, rolled the door manually down, secured it. Got into my other car and pulled it around. Parking enforcement officer writing a ticket on my dead car for being parked the wrong way as I was just pulling my other car up. Yes, they ride through the residential areas looking for any infraction because the assholes on L.A.’s city council are so desperate for funds since they piss them away to union goon contracts they have to harass you at home. Arguing with a Parking Enforcement Officer gets nothing but a “You can’t park like this.” Even when the hood is up and you need to jump a car. Right-O 😉 score one for Mayor Tallywhacker and the gang!
Jump the car battery as the officer leaves after handing a ticket on the windshield under the wiper blade…lovely. The car starts right up. Turn it off again with jumpers removed, turn it on again and it seems fine. So I locked up the big car with the jumpers in it and head out to get some lithium grease to now fix the old garage door opener. Get to Loews and when on line a woman shoves a big thing on the edge of the counter into my stuff and says can I put this here. I nodded and she said I guess he’s just rude. Why did she say this because I nodded instead of speaking the word “yes” she should look up what nodding means. Buy the stuff, get in the car, dead battery. Late afternoon, triple A truck gets there as nobody could jump my car. Hour in a half later I might add. Jumped the car started right up drove back home. Left the car running went inside opened the garage door, pulled the car in and shut it off. Then went to repair the garage sled which seemed to have been binding, sprayed the lithium grease and the garage unit’s power went out. Grease on the wires. Was I falling into a Mister Magoo mode or what. Climbed a ladder, leaned over wiped grease from the roof and then the wires, power back on. Opened and closed and it worked. Great, the garage fixed. Car for another day I was really getting worn out already.
Get inside the home to plop down and turn on the television and the power goes dead for the house. Now I said aloud to that significant other, “what are the odds?” Then we both laughed aloud. Power came right back on. Time to go to dinner. So we headed out for dinner at a local Mexican Restaurant haunt.
We waited a long time before being seated, but when we were the problems started right up. The fork and spoon had dried crap from not being washed properly. The waitress picked up something from the floor, silverware I think. She came right out with our dishes her finger in the edge of my food. The food was served lukewarm. It also lacked sour cream as it should have had it on this Mexican dish as advertised. It took almost twenty minutes before I got it back. Same plate I had started eating from now the rest of the food was fairly cold. They had evidently put sour cream on it but left it sitting. My significant other ordered me to eat and I did. We finished up and got home in the car with the jumpers, as the one in the garage would still not start.
At home I developed craps then had to go and go bad like a waterfall. I knew right away it had been the dinner. I went to the bathroom for about two hours five times each time with severe cramps. When I was done, I had missed a night show and felt drained. I decided to hit bed early and forget about what started out as a beautiful day. Falling fast asleep one last thing hit and that was backup from the spicy food from dinner to remind me that as midnight was approaching, it was a last going away present to remember a day from hell.