God Damned Flying Bastards!!!

You know. You hear the buzz and this large flying green shiny bug buzzes around you. Why heck…it’s the Shiny Green Fig Beetle and Mister Beetle wants to dine on whatever he can get especially my ripening figs. I cannot stress to those growing figs to harvest early in the morning.

Now everyone in California who has fruit growing can attest to these stupid fat insects. They make a horrendous buzzing noise, wobble all over the place, constantly run into walls, trees and people too. Here is what they look like.

So one of these started playing ring around the rosie with me when I was trying to work in the backyard patio, right. It got so annoying and when he finally hit my right temple and bounced backwards, I had had enough. I swatted that sucker and he fell on the place before the rear door to the home. Now he sputtered for a bit on the concrete and then picked himself up, turned around. As I watched him, I started saying “oh no, please don’t do that.” Then he did it. He got to the edge of the step and hopped into a spider web near the side of the upper step.

Well you can just imagine the delight of the hungry young misses black widow when mister beetle jumped right into her web, then kept twitching. She was so overjoyed, she had to welcome him for dinner and just kept kissing him. Of course mister beetle didn’t want no part of her advances, but he was in a bit of a sticky situation. I guess after a lot of her smooching, he just got tired and fell asleep on her. Of course she got to have a great big dinner, she was so delighted.

On another occasion, one of these always visits the screen on a bathroom window, repeatedly hitting it wanting in. They are quite harmless to humans, just big, noisy and rather bulky in their actions. That aside, they continue to come back. Now some folks will claim these are June bugs, another noisy insect we have had for eons around here. But honestly, they are two differing species altogether. If you keep most foliage that falls from your trees off the ground, this noisy pest who is the worst pilot I have ever seen, will have a rougher go of it producing kids. Anyhow enjoy the videos and yes the bug and spider is a true story.


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